The Nightmare Before Jeansmas

It’s the moooooost wonderful tiiiiiiiime of the yeeeeeeeaaarr!  Now I can openly get excited about Halloween, and boy are you ever gonna get a healthy helping of it over this next month.  Yey!!

countdown pic

We are in FULL FALL mode now.  It’s Thanksgiving weekend and we’re about to enjoy the bounty of our harvests.  Here is my personal harvest for the year…CARROTS!


What a successful growing season!  Not sure what I’ll do with them yet – maybe a carrot cake!  Or maybe I’ll starve if this is all I have to show for my harvest.

And this weekend we’ll all be getting cozy with our loved ones and lovers alike.  I need to get out and socialize with more than my dogs, so I’ve been scouting out some autumn hotties–check out these fly boys!


This guy was rocking some mad Dad Bod, which I am not against, but he’s a hugger. He came at me with those open arms and I was like “no, please, I am very allergic to your insides!”


This guy has kids, which is just part of dating in your 30s I guess, but I need someone with a face.  Is that SO MUCH to ask?!  Otherwise, this is just another faceless guy in a plaid shirt.  Boooooooorriiiiing. Get a personality, bro.


This dude could NOT keep it together.  He was falling apart all over the place, busting out of his clothes.  And I just cannot get on board with white guy dreadlocks.  Plus – cargo jeans?  Really, what year is it, 1998?!?  Hacky sack your way out of my life.


This fella gave me a weird feeling for some reason.  Perhaps it was the dead look in his empty eye sockets suggesting that he’d given up on life and was looking to steal a soul in order to get revenge on the women who had broken his heart and soul before that deterred me.  Or perhaps it was his gaping mouth-breathing face.


Now this guy I felt I had a real connection with.  Such a jokester!  But what shattered the illusion was when he smiled at me and I saw he was missing several teeth.  That is just a deal breaker for me.  Plus, look at how much straw he has in his butt.  That’s just… too much.

K have a great Thanksgiving Day LONG weekend everyone!  I’m thankful that (most of) you like reading my nonsense every week 🙂

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