The Devil Wears Jeans

Throw your hands up in the air and wave ‘em around like you just don’t care because tomorrow is FRIDAY and it’s JEANS DAY!  DOUBLE HOORAY!!

This week I found a website that lists all the “National ___ Days”.  We’ve all heard of these ridiculous days; National Peanut Butter Day, National Left-Handed Appreciation Day, National Post-It Notes as Wallpaper Day, etc.  FUN FACT: January is National oatmeal, soup, and hot tea month — a real party month if you have no teeth.

Today is truly a conglomeration of many wonderful things.  It’s Beer Can Appreciation Day AND It’s National Compliments Day (you all look stunning today)!  What a day to be alive!  So here are some jean ideas that were likely the results of appreciating a lot of beer that someone then sarcastically complimented, but the production team didn’t get the sarcasm.  Fashion is complex and no one really gets it.  Like life maybe.  Not all its secrets are revealed to us all at once.  You’ll understand its mysteries, one at a time, when you are meant to.

MYSTERY #1:

assymetrical jeans

A co-worker sent me this picture.  She has a pair of these (I assume) and LOVES them because they afford her the versatility she seeks in her wardrobe.  One moment she might be feeling a wide leg, and the next she desires a slimmer fit, so it’s the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!  We CAN have it all, ladies!

MYSTERY #2:

jeans1

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall in the fashion gurus’ meeting surrounding these.  Jeans for the accident prone?  They are making my guts feel unsettled just looking at them.

MYSTERY #3:

jeans5

The abridged story behind these Manolo Blahnik boots is that they were made for Rhianna and then she gifted them to J Lo who wore them in a music video.  I mean, they are a statement, that’s for sure.  And once again, fashion not for us to understand, but to behold and make this face:

wiig

MYSTERY #4:

clear

Jeans that allow the world to see just how much your legs and butt are sweating because they DON’T BREATHE.  These are more conducive to an outdoor music festival where it’s inevitably raining, not an indoor sitting-type job.  Or being generally comfortable.

MYSTERY #5:

shoulders

Finally!  A jacket you can wear so you can literally give someone the cold shoulder!
Parents getting all up in your teenaged grill? Need to let a frenemy know that they wronged you? Need to break up with someone, but you’re no good with words?  DONE.  Shoulders cold, everything else…less chilly.

MYSTERIES #5 & 6:

Is there any better feeling than the wind in your pant legs?  Or feeling feminine without needing to “sit like a lady”?  Probably not.

“Experimentation is the precursor to wisdom.  Be Bold. Be Brave. Make Mistakes.”

Maybe most of these denim trends could be considered mistakes, but all of their designers are well on their way to denim enlightenment, a state that I will likely never achieve in my plain old Levis.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s