Mamma Jeansa!

Good Thursday to you all!  Get ready for another JEANS DAY tomorrow in celebration of it being National MARGARITA DAY!  So I’m providing you with some wardrobe inspiration.  Did you think I was going to say “providing you with some margaritas”?  Sorry no, but I WISH!
[Side note: Did you know that margarita means “daisy” in Spanish?  I did not, so I learned something today!]

When you think of margaritas, it’s hard not to start humming “Margaritaville” to yourself.  Those airy, bouncy notes are just as intoxicating and nauseating as tequila itself.  Music that invokes a reckless position on fashion inspired by parrots, and an outlook on life as carefree as parrots.  It’s a very parrot-centric lifestyle.  Their colours, the trees they call home, the fruits they eat, their disregard for the time of day that is appropriate to get hammered (parrots are notorious partiers).

What’s in that lady’s travel mug?  Parrot juice (AKA a margarita).  Why is that guy hanging loose with a Corona?  Well obviously he’s going to turn it upside-down into a margarita making it a Bulldog.  And why is that man walking down the beach with such a smile on his face?  It’s 1:00 pm and he’s smashed.  Already lost his shoes. Probably going to fall asleep on the beach and get SUCH a sunburn.  And just look at that jean jacket.  Quelle surprise — PARROT.

Would it thrill you to know that there is a musical based on Jimmy Buffet songs called “Escape to Margaritaville”?
No?  Well what if I told you that it debuted on Broadway just last year?
Still no?  Ok, what if I informed you that the critics proclaimed it “insufferably dumb”, “an empty shell”, and “don’t expect too much”?  Yeah, now we’re all on board!

Speaking of escaping Margaritaville, we had to do some online security awareness modules here at the business workplace, and I got to meet these two boneheads fresh off their Air Transat flights.  I kid you not, these are 100% REAL from the videos.

family member

First up, the “unqualified family member”.   Carrying his backpack on ONE shoulder and flip flops to the office without a care in the world.  What’s that around your neck, a shark tooth?  An ancient amulet?  I don’t even care, get a haircut, kid!

late

The only thing this guy lacks is a parrot in some form, but his mindset is already there. His wardrobe went from business black & white to garish patterns & colours because he “now disregards work policies”.  What an absolute dickhead.

As we are being led to believe, if you wear colour and have ever so slightly disheveled hair, you’re a threat to security.  THIS is what real criminals look like, people!

Ok… so maybe today I’m wearing what can only be described as “a lot going on” and have messy hair, but don’t worry about it.  Nothing suspicious here.
Nothing…at…all.
*whistling*
Just send me all your passwords, ok?
*whis…I can’t whistle

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