Freaky Jeansday

This upcoming Sunday is Mothers’ Day!  Did you get your mom a card?  No?!  Come on, it’s the LEAST you could do after all the BS you put her through.  What’s that, she’s dead?  I’m so sorry, but that’s no excuse.  You should still write her a poem and recite it at her grave.

Last Mothers’ Day the Jeans Day Weekly explored “mom jeans”.  This year we take a good, hard look at tattoo tributes to moms.  The BAD ones… because those are the most fun.  For us anyway.

EXHIBIT 1:

mom classic

This is a good tattoo to honour mom.  Classic, dare I say timeless.  This is what a mom tribute tattoo should be.

EXHIBIT 2:

bad mom 2

But here is what that can turn into if your artistic/resourceful/delusional little self thinks it can tattoo itself with homemade prison implements.  Yikes.  1974 – 2002?  More like FOREVER, dummy.

EXHIBIT 3:

And this is what happens when you’re too hopped up on Monster Energy drinks (and god knows what else) to think straight.  Is his mom a monster?  Does he just like the font…?  Is he 100% dedicated to the Monster lifestyle?  We will never know, and I’d be afraid to hear the real reasoning.

EXHIBIT 4:

pez

Hmmm…well, this one gets points for creativity, but loses them for bizarreness.  Is it an honour to be immortalized on someone’s flesh as a Pez dispenser?!  “Girl, you’re built like a Pez dispenser” is a comment NO ONE ever wants to receive.

EXHIBIT 5:

mom 1

Just a lasting reminder of how important a steady hand is for tattooing.  There is a LOT going on here and coherent artistic flow is not one of them.  Several ideas, none of them successfully executed.  But I mean, you can feel the love there which is what really counts…

EXHIBIT 6:

Ohhhhhhh spelling.  Listen, I get it, not everyone is a National Spelling Bee Champion.  But make sure your tattoo artist has a basic grasp of the language!  Use the measure twice, cut once principle.  Again, that is permanent, until that flesh rots off your cold, dead bones.

EXHIBIT 7:

AHHH!  These portraits are legit scary.  But also the most accurate portrayals of your mom if she’s a demon ghost nun, or a Doonesbury cartoon character.

HAPPY MATHERS’ DAY
TO ALL THE MATERNAL ANGLES!

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