Close Jeancounters

A good Thursday to you all!  Good news — tomorrow is JEANS DAY!
And today is the 4th of July, AKA …

indy day

…so I thought I’d share some more of what SOME PEOPLE refer to as alien conspiracy theories, but what I subscribe to as 100% FACT.  I watch Ancient Aliens which has undisputable experts including this guy:


A completely unbiased opinion on mysteries of the universe, he believes very enthusiastically that everything was/is done by aliens.  Naturally.  He didn’t have a choice in becoming an alien theorist.  His hair chose for him.

I’m sure we can all agree that something fishy is going on at Area 51, other than a “military installation”.

area 51

If I were doing weird tests on alien cadavers, I’d have some subtle signage like this too. Nice try, Area 51.

I personally like to think that Earth is just a giant terrarium that aliens created as a social science experiment.  Similar to the Futurama episode when Bender is colonized by tiny beings as he floats through space.  All of my best science hypotheses come from cartoons.

planet bender

That idea lead me to this not so new theory known as the Zoo Hypothesis that superior alien races have put Earth into “a sort of a metaphorical zoo…The aliens of the galaxy have somehow arranged things so that our planet is shielded from them by one-way bars: They can observe us, but we can’t observe them”.  Ha, OBVIOUSLY!  That’s why we never see them.


Still not on board?  Well then how do you explain these Nazca lines in Peru, huh?!


Sure, anyone can theorize how the ancient peoples might have pulled off these great feats, but you know what? –


And don’t even get me started on this museum’s theory about the elongated-headed people of ancient South American.


Likely story, mainstream media!  You know what I say?


Good night!

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