The Dark Jean Rises

Holy bananas!  It’s Thursday again!  That means that tomorrow is another JEANS DAY.  This week, it would seem, is FULL of “National ___ Days”.  Look at this.


Wow.  Truly a time to celebrate everything.  Obviously my bias is towards …hmmm….BATMAN DAY.  So true to my (apparently) new form, here is an online quiz-like Jeans Day Weekly.


  1. Adam West


There is absolutely nothing in life that you take too seriously.  The Dark Knight?  No thanks,  you’re actually afraid of the dark.  Also, you like to run around town in tights and a cape and don’t care much for the gym.  The Commissioner’s respect is more important that chiseled abs.

  1. George Clooney


Billionaire playboy? 100%.  All day, everyday.
Confidence levels?  Through the roof.
Eyebrows?  “On fleek”, baby.
Nipples?  Highlighted.

  1. Michael Keaton


Practicality is key to you (maybe to a fault), and that includes being 100% waterproof.  Sure you sweat A LOT in that rubber wardrobe and probably make embarrassing squeaking sounds when you move, but you just mosey on through a car wash every night and you’re squeaky clean again!  Also, you’re rubber and everyone else is glue.  Unkind words bounce off you and stick to them.  So there.

  1. Lego Batman


You’re an idiot.  And kind of bad at your job.  Now you know.

  1. Christian Bale


You’re a game changer and you know it.  Modesty isn’t one of your signature traits, but who cares.  The ones closest to you make you check your attitude.  You have been through A LOT, life has kicked you, beaten you down, thrown you in a pit, you escaped, got stronger, learned martial arts, got muscley, but not too muscley, and now it’s your turn to take what’s yours — Revenge.

  1. Ben Affleck


Who?  Forgettable.

  1. Comic book Batman figurines

YOU. ARE. INTENSE.  First off, you’re hitting the gym TOO HARD.  No one needs to have knee muscles.  Second, do you get dressed in the morning, or is that body paint?  Honestly.  And thirdly, you intimidate people because a) you’re basically naked, and b) when you’re not parkour-ing all over the place, you’re striking overly dramatic poses.  You are the exact opposite of Adam West’s Batman.  In fact, you’d probably be enemies.  (movie idea?!)
Relax, laugh, have some fun – outside of the gym.

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